Rule number one: Always have an escape plan.

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I wonder if you miss me,
And I think you might,
But other times,
late at night,
I think that I wouldn’t miss me,
if I’d been the one who left

Sometimes you seem gay.

As soon as I read this I immediately went to my go-to joke:

"Ugh, you suck one or three dicks and everyone wants to start with the labels!"

But this comment isn’t offensive. I mean, it’s one that I get on occasion, especially out at bars and parties, but it’s not a big deal.

Here’s a story, a few weeks ago I was at a bar with my boys, and I don’t know how but this bar has gotten flooded with gay guys over the last couple of months. Like, flooded.

Naturally, because I’m a pretty open guy, I made friends with a couple of the gay dudes that I’d seen there a few times. We talked, joked around, and a few of them were surprised when I mentioned talking to girls. To the point where, when I started flirting with one of their female friends, she had to ask them to confirm that I was straight.

So I go to one of the dudes and I’m like “I don’t want to seem offensive, but what makes me come off as a gay guy?”

and he basically said that I’m really friendly, well-dressed and “gay-cute” as he called it

So I said “Wait. You’re telling me people think I’m gay because I’m personable, well dressed and adorable?” and he said “Yep”

I paused for a second and I said

"Huh. I’ll take it."

Being accused of being gay is something I think only insanely macho dudes that are like “What NO I LOVE THE PUSSY” would get really offended over. A majority of the gay guys I’ve talked to and made friends with are fucking awesome and hilarious, and they ALWAYS hang out with the hottest girls at the bar.

So if that’s what seeming “Gay” means I’ll fit into, that’s fine with me.

· me · My face ·

reblog if you want your followers to tell you one thing they secretly think about you


it’s funny because i have no idea what i’m doing and i’m alone

baby matty was cute too

well that’s a given!



I would like to take one minute


just to thank puberty


because holy shit


you and me went through some tough times


bit after 21 years


we’re finally getting somewhere.

i get like 2 percent more attractive every year

by like 2030 i will be some kind of Adonis

· me · my face ·
(If you're still doing the questions) 17, 29, 45.

17: Already answered.

29:Best sexual complement you ever got:

Um, after I was “schooled” on going down on a girl, the first woman I slept with after told me that if I keep eating girls out like that the woman I marry will never let me go.

45:What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

I want to start making out with a girl and hear AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” play as I take off her clothes. That’d be awesome.

13, 17, 20

13:Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

My DVD copy of the first season of Glee.

17:Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Nah man, I’m good.

20:A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

Nutella. I don’t know what for, I just know that I could use more nutella in every aspect of my life.

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